It take me long to doze off at night. Sometimes due to lack of sleep, I don’t even sleep at all. I mostly feel like sleeping in the afternoon. I also get pain in my back and neck when I get up in the morning because of sleeping very late at night. I have also check with the doctor and have been told that I do not have any problem/disease. There could be a psychological reason for sleep deprived. (Areeba, Bahawalpur)
Advice: There does not seem to be any psychological reason for not getting sleep in your case. It is possible that you complete your sleep during the day and you are unable to sleep at night. The reason of the pain could be uncomfortable and uneasy bed. It is important to sleep early at night to wake up early in the morning.
Non-Serious daughters
My daughter is a diabetic patient. Unfortunately, her both daughters are careless. The elder daughter is in her 10th Grade. She is a disobedient child. She does not even carry her own utensils to kitchen after eating food. She does not even greet the guests that come home. Her attitude does not change irrespective of anyone. She spends all her time on laptop and watching TV. Now the younger daughter is also catching and adapting same behaviors. (Aasma, Peshawar)
Advice: Disobedience in children is a major issue these days. Whatever issues you have mentioned in your letter are very much common in children now. Parents face problems when they do not schedule times for the usage of TV and computer by children. It is not easy to change a grown child. Changing the routine should be taught at a very young age. You need to talk to your daughter and ask her to have a friendly relation with her daughter and with this relation try to change their habits. If they don’t change then try to reduce their pocket money. When the younger daughter obeys then appreciate her and reward her. And try to ignore the elder sister for reward and recognition. Ultimately the elder daughter will have to change her behavior for her own needs. She will have to obey her parents
The effect of bad society
I call myself bad and evil and my mind often becomes numb due to these thoughts. I feel I will get mad. My future is ruined. I was doing Master in English when the effect of bad society ruined everything. I am innocent but still suffering from the punishment of sins that I have not even done. My parents also consider me the culprit. (Bilal Iqbal, Khanewal)
Advice: Parents often get disappointed from their misbehaving children. Try to convince you parents that you are innocent. Try to convince your lawyer with all the proofs about your innocence so that he can work on reducing or terminating your punishment. You need to learn a lesson from the past and avoid such activities in future.
I get nervous.
I work in a shop with my elder brother. I often get nervous in front of the customers. Due to nervousness my face sweats, lips become dry. This nervousness sometimes also happens in normal routine. (Asad Kashif, Lahore)
Advice: Often people get nervous while meeting new people. However if this nervousness takes its peak and has symptoms like sweating, raise in heartbeat, dryness of mouth, shivering etc then you require a change in your attitude. The solution of this problem is experiencing it over and over again. Your nervousness will reduce itself once you gain experience. Actually this behavior occurs when someone has a fear of something from its external environment, but when someone gets use to its environment then they realize that everything is normal.
Wrong thoughts
I am mostly sick, I have two kids. I am unable to do routine house hold work. My husband has also got married again. I want to get divorce from him. But after that do not know where will I go with my kids. I can’t leave my kids as well. But how can I take them with me, as I do not have any shelter, and I am also worried about their expenses and studies. I sometimes think of committing suicide as this is the only solution for all the problems. (Sheen, Islamabad)
Advice: Your thinking is wrong. This way you will never get rid of your problems. The person who commits suicides leaves behind sorrow and problems for their own families. When such people are on the way to die, a wish of living often arises in them. But unfortunately it’s always late at the time. You must never do such extreme crime to yourself. You have not mentioned about your health problem/disease. However anybody who is ill, can recover and similarly whoever is healthy can get ill. Live with your children in your own house. You will never find a better place than your own house. No one can take your place no matter how many times your husband gets married.
